April 02, 2000
There has always been a force pulling me, drawing me in one direction or another. Opportunities have always presented themselves at exactly the right time. I have never been lost- until now.
May 21, 2001
I have no hope, no dreams, no ambitions. My life is empty, devoid of meaning. I am lonely. What reason do I have to live? I sit here crying, trying to think and the only thing I can think of is that it would cause too much pain if I were gone. I’ve never entertained ideas of suicide, nor do I do so now but, I have to ask myself- what kind of life am I leading? I have nothing. I envy people who have dreams, who have a destiny. I envy people who have someone to love. I am lost and there is no direction in sight. I want to live, but I don’t know how.
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