For the most part, the new year has started off on a good note. Last night was lovely, all cozy in our house, sharing a kiss at the stroke of midnight. Then, as I lay sleeping, the migraine crept in. Some may see that as a bad sign. I prefer to think of it as all the toxicity slipping out into the night, leaving my body forever. I have resolved to let go of that which no longer serves me.
A card reading from Michelle Scrimgeour-Brown says:
"You don’t believe yourself to be someone who holds a grudge. I can agree with this assessment because you don’t carry malice in your heart for the experiences of your past. You do, however, remember pretty much everything. From time to time, you bring out the stories of pain or injustice; you share your traumatic history. And while it is true that you are not your story, there is a different reason now why you must let go.By holding on to these stories — by carrying them as part of why you are amazing — you continue to inflict that initial pain on yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard that resentment is like taking poison yourself and expecting the other person to die; the reason that this is true is because it is you who suffers in the recalling. And you diminish just how amazing you really are because the stories of your making dull your shine."
I do hold on to things. I remember all of the times I've disappointed people and all the times I've done something wrong. It is time to let those things go and to not relive them over and over.
After waking up from a drug induced sleep (remember the migraine), I had a healthy breakfast and put some healthy onion soup into the crock pot for dinner and off I went to do some authentic movement. What a wonderful way to settle into your body and to touch your subconscious. Moving without agenda or judgement. Letting the body decide how it wants to be held, carried, moved or not moved. It can be incredibly enlightening. Today, it was reaffirmed that all the work I've been doing over the last three years has brought me to a place where I have healed and am ready to move forward into my true self, my authentic being. I'm excited to discover who that is.
I had a dream a few weeks ago where I was travelling down a road and in the middle of the road was a giant hole. I couldn't go any further as there was no way around the hole. Upon reflection in the morning, it came to me that the hole was the healing work that I am supposed to be doing. As a Reiki master once told me, because I am not consciously doing healing work, my body is sending it's energy out to do healing work without my knowing it. I think that I am now ready to consciously give healing but I do not yet know what that is going to look like. I'm pretty sure it's not Reiki, although that is close. I know it has something to do with nature and animals and healing of the earth. I'm excited about what it will be and sit open to possibilities.
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