I was a group leader in Costa Rica
responsible for the well being of 12 young adults. There were 13 of us living in one room. We
each had a space of about 15 square feet in which to put our sleeping mats and
all our personal belongings. We were
working hard in a small community digging an aquifer and the group dynamics
weren’t great. My two Spanish-speaking
co-leaders had both been removed from the project as a result of having
personal relationships with group members, and my Spanish was not nearly strong
enough. The entire group came down with
Giardia because our water filter was missing a piece. Two group member were feuding and gathering
others to their side to fight a war.
This was week 10 of a 12 week project.
I was exhausted and had nothing left to give. All my energies had been spent trying to keep
everything together. I had nothing left.
I
am not sure what made me go for a walk that day, but there I was on the road
walking out of the town. I had to be
alone, if only for a few hours. I walked
down the dirt road in the hot sun feeling like nothing was right in the
world. Part of me wanted to just keep
walking. To walk away from all the
responsibilities that were weighing me down but each step I took just seemed to
make me more tired and more broken. I
stopped. I couldn’t go on. I raised my head and looked around. In front of me was a pasture and there, in
the middle of the pasture was The Tree.
She called to me and I answered.
Sitting under her branches the tears started flowing. All the anger and grief that I had
experienced were suddenly released and I was able to breathe for the first time
in weeks. Sitting in the Tree’s embrace,
I felt the healing energy of the Earth pass through me clearing away the
tension and refilling my soul.
I
sat for hours feeling calm and secure and didn’t really want to leave but the
responsibilities were still there and I had to go back. It took me months to recover from that
leadership experience in Costa Rica, and I sometimes doubt that I will ever
fully ‘recover’. I learnt a lot that
year, but what I carry with me most dearly is the knowledge that if you are
open, the Earth will provide for you.
She will give you what you need.
